want want wants

[ojousama]

For some reason I'm Very stressed out and I've come to the conclusion that I'll feel better if I write things down so I can pretend I have some semblance of control over my life

These are the things I'm aiming for in life. Literal life goals if you would. The real things I'm working for.

First and foremost would be financial stability.

As of right now (March 2015) I pay my own phone bill, insurance (car/health), for 80% of my food, for my gas, then I pay 2 credit cards monthly, as well as 2 student loans for past university. That's not too bad for having only a part time job. (Two now, but I haven't even gotten paid for that one yet.)

I define financial stability as owning/not having a hard time paying for things I want.
What do I want?

When I'm by myself, or maybe even with a roomate, or idk some significant other in the far future, I'd like a condo or a town home or a small apartment with a nice view, somewhere it rains a lot. I want big windows and floors that are easy to clean, a kitchen with filtered water and a fridge that will fit all my ice cream; and a pantry that will fit all my unhealthy snacks. An electric stove, because gas stoves terrify me.

I don't need a large television, just one clear enough to frame by frame all the animated movies I want to own, and boy do I want a lot. Sure, there's digital, and dvds do wear after a while, but there's something satisfying about looking at all the cases of physical DVDs you own (I know this, because my dad had a ton, and it was kind of awesome?). Not even just DVDs. Limited collector special editions with DVD discs and Blu-ray discs and Digital HD copies. Go big or go home, and bluray discs don't scratch, but most computers can't really play bluray discs unless you pay extra or something.

I want skylights. So I can watch the sky when it rains. So I can sleep in the square of sun when I'm cold, like a cat.

I want a house that's sound proof enough that I won't get in trouble for when I decide I want to sing at the top of my lungs, or if I decide to try voice acting again.

I want a couple cats, and while there are some breeds I think are adorable and would love to have, there are just so many shelter cats that really need love, so I'm going to try and eliminate my expectations of cat breeds I want.

I want enough art books, enough coffee table books filled with art. Art from movies I love, art of animators and artists I look up to. Things people can pick up and be like "of course you'd have something like this". That's the kind of reading material I want in my house. That, and children's books. Children's book illustration is an under-appreciated art, in my opinion. And that's something I wouldn't mind doing myself either, so might as well keep a couple around anyway! Some of them are adorable. A Sister More Like Me is basically all my hopes and dreams.

I don't really have any other expectations of a place to live. Except that it's warm, and has a nice echo for when I sing, but not in my bedroom, probably, because when I record my singing I don't want it to echo.

I want a bed that's big enough for me to roll around in, big enough for me and my cats and whoever I might have with me, big enough for me to jump around in and hopefully not fall out of. A bed I can live in! With the fluffiest blankets and pillows ever.

That's about it for my home expectations.

Set in a place with a lot to do, with good public transportation and not a lot of dirty air. With cute coffee shops and bakeries and a lot of used bookstores and libraries. People who walk, people who bicycle, people who use a scooter. Close enough to my friends where we can bum around each other's places often enough and go to dinner and purikura enough.

Job expectations? Job expectations.
I just want a job I like.
Though I'm studying 3d animation right now, it doesn't have to be that particularly. It's just what I'm going to use to get on my feet. I might go to school again and study something else, actually. 3D effects would be slamming for a main job. Making stuff shiny pretty is my forte. I would also like to do character design, but I think that requires a degree in.... illustration? Honestly, character design would be something I consider a dream job.

Occupations I wouldn't mind either: character animation for a film studio or a cartoon studio, animating for a game studio I like, editing manga for a localization company, children's book illustration, voice acting, part time at a cute bakery or coffee shop or ice cream shop or something I don't know. Something cute and quaint.

That's about it for job expectations. Something I wouldn't mind doing, with a dash of volunteering and selling my own art on the side or something.

I don't really have any other expectations for my life; the only huge aspect left is a significant other -> kids.

I would really like kids but a lot of times I don't think I'd be a good enough mother or wife, and thinking about it depresses me more than gives me hope, so I'll leave it at that or write on that later when I'm feeling braver/less like a pessimist.

Summary:

• A nice apartment in a rainy city with a lot of things to do and people to see
• A lot of things that define me; artbooks, animated movies, cats
• A job I don't mind in the arts or animating